thanksgiving.

it’s a thank you on thanksgiving

it’s a time to mash, to roast, to hug warmth

feasts laden with cobalt, sterling & boats of gravy

shine, shine, shine that silver

i am so grateful

and it’s one of those things that never fills me up,

I crave more

I want to thank the world

the threads in my clothing

the pores in my skin

the static in the dryer because I am so lucky to have a dryer, things like that

I want to hear what you are grateful for

and then I can say thank you for all of that too

I can fit everything into this huge belly

devouring this amazing life

it’s so important to drop down

to feel it all

to let that shutting down thing go

why be here?

why live life if you can’t feel anything or you only get to feel what you want? as though you are able to get down and deep into the molasses and pick and choose what feels good i wish or maybe I don’t but I was not given that choice this time around

I want unconditional

I want to feel it

I want to tear all of our clothes off and box this shit out

I want to peel it, shred it and then smear icing all over it

balance could work too

and then I want to drop down even deeper
like the big dipper, shine those lights, be who you are

most people will not understand and that’s ok

some people will hate you and that’s ok

i am so lucky that I have a body that loves me

i am so lucky

i am sad too

i am hurting with my heart so grateful, it’s potent with

rawness and fluffy like a yam soufflé

i am a feast

i am thanksgiving

all I want to do is thank you

and then I want to understand everything

wooden spoons, ivory iron clad casserole dishes,

amber glasses with iced tea

orange pekoe or English breakfast

she loved oolong and jasmine

but hot, at a chinese restaurant on a sunday

I want to know where I stand

where to hold your hand

so that I don’t hurt you

why are we friends

if all I do is hurt you

if you can’t tell me

then you don’t know me

I am growing everyday

I am thanksgiving

I am a survivor

how can you teach the class

if you have not survived

the way I have?

how can you be thanksgiving if I am thanksgiving?

what is this cul-d-sac sack in the middle of the highway?

I need to get around this

I need to drive past something that makes sense

I am lost and the maps burnt off the side of the boat

when I was praying for things like freedom and intuition and poetry sundried with copper river salmon

and it’s foggy in here

and I need some sunglasses

oh maybe this cat mask will do

it will lighten every one up and

I am grateful for being good at that too

banana curry cookies.

beauties!

introducing the

modernized

ginger snap

with a poem

hero

i am mashed up bananas

going whish, whish, whish

whipped by the paddle

stainless steel tub

i yearn for more.....

buuuuuutttttterrrrrrrrr

melting me

bumps in the road

every knot

nerve ending

GULP

i want to pack it up

light brown sugar

pat, pat, pat

pack me in

hold me down

tie my wrists

oh, not too tight

hand me a buoy

so i don't float

into the night sky

dollops of vanilla

1 beaten egg

foam and all

1/2 cup of chocolate chips

chugga chugga choo choo

i am on a train and the conductor

has no idea where to seat me

i am sticky, soggy, thick and tan

i have browned

all the spinning

'round and 'round

i am a hero

i need to sit down

slip into this crinkley

parchmont paper

oops i spilled me over

i need to lay down

totally surrender

to this round shape

i will eventually riiiissssseeee

i will grooooowwwwwwwww tall

and create a shape

i need all the heat i can get

i need to sweat this out

palm springs in july

i need hot hot hot

rise above

brown at the top

crisp on the sides

to know myself

in the heat

allow myself to let go

they will take me out

cool off on steel squares

i will try to avoid the nose

sniffing my survival

i have come so far

i am the little seed

no one is going to step on me

i cool down some more

i harden from the inside out

i am lucky

young eyes looking up at me

'mom, are they ready yet?'

the red head is talking about me

she wants me in her little watery mouth

baby teeth, small sweet tongue

i feel a lift

a body peel

that first bite

yummmmmmmmmm

i hear in the one ear i have left

i am a hero

i say to myself

i did my job here.

banana curry cookies

inspired by food52

*gather*

6 tbs unsalted butter, softened

1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup mashed ripe banana

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 cup all purpose flour OR cup 4 cup

1 tsp curry powder

pinch of salt

3 tbs unsweetened shredded coconut

fleur de sal for sprinkling

*heat it up*

preheat oven to 300

cream butter & sugars

mash banana & add baking soda (set aside)

in a bowl, mix flour, curry & salt

mix banana in with vanilla too

add the dry to wet

fold in coconut

drop on cookie sheet/parchment paper

by the teaspoonful (little bites)

for 14 - 16 minutes and then sprinkle

fleur de sal while still warm

YUMMMMMM

please share in the comments below

they are definitely my new fall fave!

enjoy beauties

xxxx

holiday miracle

december 6

sign up here

xxxx

stew.

beauties!

the slow cooker is OUT

and this was it's first debut of

the season.... maybe 15 minute prep

6 hours in slow cooker while you do 

everything else you have been

needing/wanting to do!

(no brainer)

i needed some refreshers

so i looked at this recipe

and this one

then i made this up

stew

*gather*

1 lb. beef cubes of the best meat ever

a few carrots (2-3)

1-2 sunchokes (jerusalem artichokes)

a few frozen stahlbush farms peas

1 yellow onion

2 stalks celery

hand full of parsley/chopped if want

cherry tomatoes (cut in half)

thinly slices of fennel

bit of sage, 2 bay leaves, thyme

1/2 - 1 cup of red wine

1 - 2 cups of water

salt

(these ingredients were based

on whatever i had in the kitchen)

so here is the deal..

i just had to get all the ingredients

in the slow cooker & then i put it on high for 3 hours

hoping it would go to low setting while we were out

for 5-6 hours but instead it went to warm 

SO i put it on again (on low) the next day around 1 

for 4 - 6 hours... it was in the slow cooker

for about 30 hours by the time we tried it!

the meat was tender and the veggies were cooked

for you, i would say...  3 - 4 hours on high

and then 3 - 4 hours on low.. 

if you want it ready sooner than put the number

of hours you need on high

i feel that creating a stew (or anything

in the slow cooker) is a conversation

it's healing, nourishing and craves to 

be shared... please share your favorite

tips, ideas & beauty love fests!

big love beauties

xxxx

the fall miracle inspired

a holiday miracle!

nourishing yourself

during one of the most

important times of the year!

when it's absolutely 

CRAZY!

i will share a lot of

holiday tips for delicious

& doable holiday recipes

we will feast on a full 

beauty love fest to inspire

you during this time along

with hold the space for

our stories xxxx

friday

december 6

10 - 2pm

sign up here

(3 spots left)

sweet belly.

beauties! a poetic recipe to nourish youxxxx

you are pink inside
and of course i love pink

you are so round

rotating, holding

my breath

my blood

my babies

you stretch to make room for love

and we, together birth a lot of things

my physical muse in scrubs with a telescope

looking for my constellation of emotion

hiding inside a bloated poem or a super flat song

I am indebted to you

I have never used the word indebted

I will write through the doubt
to trust avenue

to tell you

you are a house

a warm, cozy, ever-growing house

a flexible, loving house

you believe in me

you trust me more than I have ever trusted myself

you were definitely the first one here

I am so grateful

you surpised me in 2006 & 2011

you got so big!

you really know how to grow

to take care of me

and all who came during me

I send you thank you notes;

dark chocolate, a good steam, breathing you in and out

I want you to feel strong

the baby door that ‘they’
created out of you is lopsided

is it bothering you?

can you feel it from where you are?

I love your honesty

I love that we are working together again

I am committed to your muscles

are you feeling better since I started working out?

oh good.

I am so happy to nourish you

cooking for you

rubbing you at night

we have been through so much together

thank you
feels weak

you who grew a placenta

you who housed my babes

your wisdom
an IV to my everything 
but it’s all I got

so,

thank you

sweet round belly

thank you.